


Perfect

by Dying_Fire_Lives



Series: Langst fics [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergent, Castle of Lions - Freeform, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, How Do I Tag, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, I dont like hurting my bby, I haven't decided yet, Imma go burn in hell again, Keith is the red lions pilot still, Keith still knows he galra though, Kissing, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Langst, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Other, Perfect, Pre-Voltron Lion Swap, Sad, Self-Harm, Songfic, but here this is..., but im putting the warning there to be safe, everyone knows he is, i still dont know how to tag fics, no lion swap, possibly, seventh wheel lance, shiro never went missing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:48:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29429076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dying_Fire_Lives/pseuds/Dying_Fire_Lives
Summary: Lance feels like the seventh wheel of the Voltron crew. He doesn't feel comfort with his best bud, and his feelings for a certain galra are growing. He doesn't want to keep going,But does he want to stop?
Relationships: Allura & Lance (Voltron), Coran & Lance (Voltron), Hunk & Lance (Voltron), Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron), Lance & Blue Lion (Voltron), Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt, Lance & Shiro (Voltron)
Series: Langst fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2163693
Comments: 12
Kudos: 68





	Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> I uhh... I have no words for this. It kinda sucks, no it really sucks, but it was a thought I got when I all of sudden wanted to write. So... here this is, and I'm sorry in advance.

_'Cause we lost it all,_

_Nothin' lasts forever,_

_I'm sorry I can't be... Perfect._

"Hunk, do you ever feel like a third wheel?" I asked, voice soft as I stared at the person whom I deemed my best friend. The larger man turned around to stare at me in confusion for a brief moment before returning to the task at hand, which I believe this time, do be attempting to make cupcakes from whatever supplies we've collected over the last few days.

"What do you mean, Buddy?" Hunk asked as he slid the tray into the fridge, dusting off his hands as he began cleaning the bench.

"I dunno. I guess it's nothing." I sigh, the thoughts burrowing at me as I try to shove them back behind the dark door of mind from which they came from. "I'll talk to you later. Have fun." I mumble as I slink off the seat and leave the kitchen.

As I wander the halls, I can't help but think that maybe Hunk was gunna say something as I left, but I also felt like he didn't even notice when I said goodbye. Would any of them notice if I said 'Goodbye'? I remember we all clambered over Pidge when they said they were leaving to go get their family back shortly after we first arrived. But they're so young, it would make sense for everyone to freak out over them. I just don't understand. It wasn't like the lions waited specifically for us to pilot them, we all just got lucky; well... unlucky in my case. I'm not the right paladin for all this. I'm so much weaker than everyone else, even Coran is probably stronger than me!

Pidge and Hunk have their awesome brains and cool weapons, Shiro has a robot glowing arm! I mean, he didn't exactly get it from the best circumstances, but he's got it, and from whenever I see him fight, he doesn't exactly hate it anymore! Allura can fight with that cool staff of hers and Coran can basically get this castle to attack people in its own way. And then there's Keith.

Angsty, moody, joke ruining Keith and his awesome big sword that cuts down anything in it's path, Keith. I wonder if I stop in front of Keith while he was fighting would it kill me? My footsteps halt at the thought. That... doesn't sound like too horrible of an idea. Maybe I should go and see if Keith is in the training room. Convince him to use our bayards, and when he isn't paying complete attention, get him to run me through with the sword. I shrug and make my way to the training room.

I press my hand to the panel, the door sliding open and of course... so is Shiro. I stand frozen in the doorway as I watch the two battle it out against each other with 'Altean children's weapons'. Did Allura really have to say that to us all that time ago. We aren't fighters, we're kids. Pidge even more so, only being fourteen. How they managed to pass as a seventeen year old to infiltrate the Garrison, I will never know. But it's not like any of that matters. They only did that to find out what happened to their family, and they did, albeit using Garrison tech to do it, but I guess we can almost blame Pidge for getting us all stuck up out here. 

If they didn't try to find their family, if they didn't break into the Garrison undercover. If Hunk and I didn't follow them up to the roof that night, if we didn't see Shiro's pod crash... then we wouldn't be stuck in a giant abyss in the middle of freaking nowhere! 

My breath trembles as a small cry escapes me, thankfully neither Keith nor Shiro noticed. I can't... I can't stay here... I need to leave. I turn around, pulling my hand from the panel and slipping away down the hallways twists and turns until I reach 'my room'. Sure, I had settled in more than the others, but it wasn't truly my bedroom. It's just where I was staying at the current time. My real bedroom has glow in the dark stars on the walls and roof. I had space posters covering every spare inch of wall. I had a tiny double bed that I've had for the last five years and managed to outgrow, but I wouldn't let my parents buy me a new one cause that one was mine. I had photos on a corkboard of me and my family, I had all my belongings spread out everywhere. 

This room, this room has a bed, too small or too large, I can't decide. The wardrobe, full of Altean clothing, none of which fits me or looks right. The desk, full of nothing, just sitting there, mocking me. And the attached bathroom, which was just a really odd shower, a toilet that flushes upwards into the air before going down, and a sink, the bench around it covered in alien face creams. None of it felt right. None of it made me happy. 

I don't understand how the others aren't having problems here. They all seem to flow so effortlessly through everything that gets thrown at us, and here I am, drowning in everything around me. Even moody, mullet boy doesn't get this low. I scoff at the thought, locking the doors as I slip off my jacket, letting it sink to the floor as I make my way towards the bathroom, before suddenly halting in my steps as there's a knock on my door. 

"Hey Lance, you in there?" Pidge. I breathe in deeply, slowly letting it out as I turn back around to the door and slide it open, a smile stretching tightly across my lips. 

"Hey Pidgetto, what's up?" Pidge sighs, staring at my annoyed. 

"I need your help." My body and mind instantly perk up at their words. As I go to respond, they continue. "Do you know where Hunk is? I have a coding problem and I bet he knows how to fix it." And snap, just like that, everything that was happy in my body was gone. "Lance...", 

"Umm, yeah. He's in the kitchen trying to make cupcakes. I dunno why though. But yeah, that's where Hunk is." I send the best possible smile I can Pidge's way, before stepping back into the room, "See ya." I mumble, sliding the door shut again and locking it. I let out a huge sigh, leaning against the door, trying my damn hardest to hold everything in, but it doesn't work. 

The sob tears itself from my throat before I can even think about it, the tears falling down my cheeks, only to get stuck on my lips, or to fall crashing to the ground. Somehow, the ground doesn't seem like the lowest place I can go. 

* 

"Okay guys, this is just gunna be a simple run through of attack formations. We gotta figure out where we all need to be, as the level changes. We need to learn to adapt on the go, therefore, there will be no cooldowns in-between levels. They are going to just keep coming at us until all of us are down. Understand?" We all hum in agreement and nod, my own eyes not looking up from the floor. Shiro hums back, "Okay Everyone. Let's get out there and do our best!" Shiro says kindly, a smile on his face. 

See, that's the kind of person who can deal with anything. He was held captive for a year, and he can still easily smile. I can barely force one on my face these days. It's too much effort, too much energy, especially now that I've begun my own training sessions where no one will interrupt me. The middle of the night cycle on the ship. Miraculously no one actually seems to leave their rooms during the night cycle, it's the perfect time, but even after three weeks of this every single night, I'm still not improving. I am still getting my ass handed to me in the fights. 

I keep my gaze on the floor as we all make our way to the fighting platform. Once everyone is in their starting positions, I activate my bayard and finally raise my gaze to find Keith staring directly at me. I swallow thickly as my cheeks darken as I stare at the other boy who was acting like he was looking into my soul and only seeing the useless goofhead that I am. 

"W-what?!" I snap at Keith who sighs, shaking his head. 

"Don't get us hurt." Keith mumbles back before moving a bit further away, but still too close for my comfort. Goddamn it! Why did Keith have to go and say something like that?! I was already off my game like usual, but that comment just made things worse. 

" **Mixed drill, level one. Begin.** " I turn away from Keith the best I can while I begin to take out the small drones that are beginning to descend from the ceiling. Each successful shot was a sliver of hope returning to me, each missed was a chunk taken away. 

"Keep your heads up everyone, we need to make sure that when things change, we can change too. Especially as a team." My eyes widen and I almost mess up my turn to find more drones to shoot. It's hard to train as a team, when it doesn't feel like a team. When I... don't feel like part of the team. Sure everyone else works, but I don't... 

"Lance!" I turn my head to face Keith who just sliced one of the drones that was barely a metre away from me, the tip of his sword resting near my foot. "Pay attention, Asshole!" Keith spits out, turning back around to fight more drones. 

Yep, definitely attracted somehow... I groan, raising my gun back up to shoot at more drones, when Pidge was suddenly shot and knocked out of the practice. I waited for everything to stop, but it didn't. And after shot, we weren't allowed to move off the field; we had to act like it was a kill shot. I bit my lip and growled lightly, shooting three more drones in a row when Shiro shouted as Hunk went down as well, 

"Lance, what are you doing?! You need to be watching our backs!" That felt like a kick to the gut, because Shiro sure as hell thought I wasn't doing my best to protect everyone. I look to Shiro and see a drone hovering behind him, about to attack, and just as I shoot it down, another drone that I didn't see, hits Shiro and takes him out, leaving only me and Keith standing. 

"Goddamn it, Lance! Can you not protect a single one of us?!" Keith snarls, eyes flashing yellow as he pressing up to me, shoving me by the shoulders, knocking me to the ground. "Honestly, how the fuck did you miss that shot? It was so easy I could have done it!" My words get locked in my throat as everything I had been so hard trying to build this training session disappears from my eyes. 

"End simulation." I mumble, but the castle picks it up. 

" **Mixed drill, level eight. Halted.** " I stand up, deactivating my bayard as I stare Keith directly in the eyes. 

"You think I'm so crap. Why don't you just kill me right now." It wasn't a question. And it certainly wasn't a sentence I ever meant to say out loud. 

"Lance..." Hunk's voice is soft and questioning. I scoff, throwing my bayard down to the ground and I begin pulling off my armour, leaving me in the skin tight suit. 

"You hate me so much. You don't want me on your team that much. Fine! I don't even want to be here anyway!" I scream into Keith's face, shoving him back and running out of the training deck, making it to my room fast enough to lock the door throw myself to the cupboard, pulling out my casual clothes and tugging them on over the black suit. 

I find a bag that is suitable enough and shove everything that I've collected whilst been on the ship so far into it. I don't need to be here. No one wants me here. I'm useless. The seventh wheel. Everything will be better for everyone if I wasn't here on the ship. Or even alive... now isn't that an idea. I scoff, throwing the bag over my shoulder and unlocking the door, peeking out the doorway and down the halls to make sure no one had time to recover from my outburst and come find me yet. Luckily for me, it was still empty. Or that just means everything I said and think was true and they really don't care whether or not I was on the team. 

It doesn't matter anymore. I'm gone. I'm useless here but maybe I can make my way back to Earth and warn them. Spend time with my family and warn them about the Galra and hopefully keep everyone safe there. It's not like I'm doing a very good job here. 

I quickly make my way to the ship area thingy, and climb in a pod. I don't know how to fly this thing, but it can't be any harder than the simulator back home. Home... I'll be there soon. I grin and turn on the pod, using the Altean I learned to unlock the bay doors as I make my way out of the dock, shooting out as fast as I can. From now on, it doesn't matter if I live or die. I'm not important. I'm not a paladin anymore. If I ever truly were.

*

** Meanwhile:  **

"Why the hell would you say that to him?!" Pidge snaps, shoving Keith into a corner, surrounded by only them and Hunk. Keith couldn't understand anything anymore. He thought he and Lance were better. That the bickering and the fighting were almost flirting, but he guessed not from the reaction Lance gave them. It seemed like the outburst was a long time coming from the emotion behind it all. It shook Keith to the core that all he wanted to do was run after Lance, but he was cornered by Hunk and Pidge, with Shiro standing behind and away from the two attackers, a disappointed look on his face that was directed at Keith. 

"I thought we were doing better. I thought he was okay with what I say to him, and I get that I overreacted in that moment, but what if that was a real fight! He would have just gotten Shiro killed!" Shiro sighs, walking over to the group. 

"No, he stopped a drone from hitting me. It was in your blind spot, but the one that took me down was in his. It was either yours or my job to take that one down. That hit was not for Lance." Keith blanched, heart falling through his chest to his stomach. He fucked up. Keith growls, shoving past the two twins of terror and nudging past Shiro as he breaks into a run for the bedrooms, opening Lance's door, no care for privacy and was only met with a mess, and an empty room. 

"Lance... Lance please tell me you're still here." Keith spoke into the empty room, going to check even the bathroom, only to find it bare of anything. Lance's face creams were gone...

" _Paladins, report to the deck immediately. A pod has just taken off from the ship and it's disabled the tracker!_ " Coran's voice and words echo through Keith's ears. A missing pod...

"Lance."

***

**Author's Note:**

> Boom! This sucked ass. I was thinking of maybe making a part two, so... let me know.
> 
> Edit: it hasn't even been 24 hours since I posted this and I am getting such an amazing response. I have started part two, but I don't know when I'll post it. If I finish it tonight I will, but until then, you get the cliffhanger. Thank you so much to everyone telling me to continue this!


End file.
